Welcome and Weddings

Well. I've been meaning to start an "inner-thoughts" blog for a while, and it isn't for anybody for me right now. To keep myself sane and my faith straight. Without further adieu...

Couple Saves First Kiss for Wedding

I found this story on the news site I use called Newser. I admire this couple greatly. To no extent. I also have full confidence that they will and do have a happier and healthier relationship than I may ever have (not for lack of trying). But I cannot help but be bothered by the fact that this makes the news.

Recently and slightly still I have been wrestling with my sexuality morals. I used to be super strict, stressed-out, stern. I drove people away because of it. "Virtue Lies in the Middle". I've slowly been loosening up, not that I've really been able to test myself being recently and repeated single-ized, but I've been coping with where to stop. I, of course, realize I am so naive that the farthest I would go if I went 'nuts' and didn't hold back is child's play compared to what it could be. But I am very proud of that. Because I see a huge obsession and misdirection in this world about love. To the point where not kissing makes the news because it's so radical and different.

I'm not saying that affection is wrong, that expressing love is wrong. Giving and receiving that feeling of closeness, of belonging, of bliss is so wonderful. But there are some things you should only experience with one person. Some 'gifts' that you have to give and share and receive that need to be cherished and waited for.

I am overwhelmed with this feeling that soon it will be a sparse few of us left who are still waiting. Who are still innocent. Who are still naive. And it terrifies me. That no one is standing up, no one is drawing lines, every one is just giving in. On the spot, in the moment, in their habits, in planned situations. I am no exception. But I want to be.

I want to draw the line. I want to be the exception. Because if no one else will stand up against guilt, against grief, against heartbreak, against lust, against false love, against objectifying, against regret, against getting away easy; and stand up for honesty, for humility, for patience, for hope, for team work, for nobility, for chivalry, for reason, for saving and giving, for love...

I will.

Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. LaLuz! I pray that I am not the only one affected by you achievement.