Valentines Day

Well, it's my first Valentine's Day in which I've been single since 8th grade. It's remarkable how normal this day is for non-couples. So, my friend is over her bf's college and I can't help but feel this way. I hate it. I don't want to worry or whatever, but that "Maybe" to if she's spending the night bothers me. I don't want her to feel bad about telling me anything, especially if she's excited about it. I want her to be happy, truly, not just for a night or a moment.

I went to the Spiritual center to clear my head. God is definitely watching out for me. I walk into the chapel and there's an abandoned guitar there waiting for me. It was wonderful. It was also one of the first times I've ever been able to start plucking new stuff, not just all the covers I've learned. It was a wonderful stress releaver.

Swing went well! I learned the moves quickly and I performed the exercises well, but when it came to free dance, I was awful. Once they said that we could dance however we wanted, I knew I was going to end it all on a sour note. But I'll try again! I had fun. I need to relax more and open up. I'm quite the introvert compared to yesterday.

Ah yesterday! Free Hug Day! I gave over 120 hugs in 3 hours, mostly to strangers. It was wonderful. I felt confident and peaceful after. It was great.

Thank God for Heather. I love her so. She is a great sister. I'm gonna call Nicole, she'll make me smile.

Thanks for listening!

-A.T.D.

I'm sick of it

I'm sick of being ignored and used. DAMN IT! GA!! I just spent 10 minutes being screamed at on the phone, which made me feel great, then an hour texting and supporting and helping you and you got off! And you can relax! And I'm here to help. Oh. No I'm not. I'm here to be ignore again. To get one word every 5 minutes. To not get a single thank you. I've waited DAYS to talk to you. Why did I expect anything better than your usual "Best friend but bottom priority act". I should get `mad. I AM mad. I should tell you. I'm sick of it. You're upset and I don't want to bring you down because you love life. But I'm sick of it. You're tearing me down.